I was spoiled as a child. Although my
family was far from wealthy my dad seemed to get my sisters and I everything we
wanted. We were all about materialistic things and didn’t know what it was like
to not be able to have the things we wanted. We always had the latest and
greatest toys. The big doll houses and the life size Barbies. We were living
the dream and took it for granted. We weren’t very appreciative, nor did we
take into consideration what he went through to get us those toys.
I
believe that money and materialistic things blind people making them unable to
see what is really important in life. When you’re fortunate enough to get the things
you want when you want it, you’re apt to take the little things for granted and
worry more about what you want to buy next. That’s not how life is should be
lived. Money and material should not be the center of somebody’s life, nor
should it be what makes a person happy.
Growing
up I took my Dad for granted. I loved all the things he bought me, but never
realized what he had to go through to buy those things. What I didn’t
understand was everything he bought costs money which was something my parents
didn’t have much of. While my mother was always complaining about money, he
would pick up extra shifts at work and find a second job during the holiday
season just to be able to make our wishes come true. He made sure Santa brought
us everything that was on our Christmas list, but that’s what we expected. As bad as it may seem, if I asked my mom for
something and she said no, I would go straight to my Dad knowing he would get
it for me. I understand now that he did all this just to see his little girls
smile. He thought if he said no, we would be upset which was the last thing he
wanted. I wish I could have understood that then and thanked him for everything
he did.
I was blinded by
materialistic things and it made me take my Dad for granted. I regret it immensely till this day. I wish I
was able to see what was important which would have been spending quality time
with him rather than worry about the next toy he was going to buy me.
Great spots for description (in this case, to be more specific):
ReplyDelete"We always had the latest and greatest toys" Notice how what :toys" you choose to be more specific with will set the tone. If you chose useful items, you are setting a positive tone. Frivolous items, a criticism.
"When you’re fortunate enough to get the things you want when you want it, you’re apt to take the little things for granted and worry more about what you want to buy next." Choose a few items...once again, what you choose makes a difference in your argument.
You had a thesis and pretty much stuck to it. Keep working on noticing when you can throw in more description. more importantly, notice and think about how your description changes the reader's understanding of how you feel. If you focused on "reliable cars and the best medicine", it shows a positive side of wealth and materialism. If you said "bear skin rugs and cocaine", you are implying something else.
-Filip